REVIEW | I AM I AM I AM

★★★

When I picked up this memoir I noticed the title’s association with one on my favorite memoirs/novels and had an instant negative reaction because of the subtitle: Seventeen Brushes with Death. For me, although The Bell Jar is a memoir/novel (yes, I know it isn't a memoir technically, but it lines up PERFECTLY with Sylvia Plath's real life) about the life of a suicidally depressed young woman, the key phrase "I am, I am, I am" is not about death. It's about life! These words are mimicking the sound of her heart beat and her heart beat tells her that she is still alive, she is, she is. And every minute of every day she gets to make a choice to continue her life or not. So that phrase has meant so much to me and, because I perceived that this book was bastardizing Plath’s beautiful words by associating them with death and not life in order to pursue notoriety, I thought it would be shallow and click-bait-y. I was wrong! By the end on the book I realized that O'Farrell sees that title quote “I am, I am, I am” in the same way that I do. This book is a beautiful examination of a lifespan plagued with near-death experiences; however, this is not because she is a tragically unique character chosen to spend her lifetime suffering. O’Farrell explains that she is like anyone else in this world. We are all constantly near death- whether or not we are aware of it. As she puts it “We are, all of us, wandering about in a state of oblivion, borrowing our time, seizing our days, escaping our fates, slipping through loopholes, unaware of when the axe may fall.” It is true and it inspires the reader to appreciate all life for what it is- a gift, every second of it. This is truly what I, and I believe many others, find so inspiring in the bray of our own hearts when they repeat the mantra “I am, I am, I am.” And if you need more proof that O'Farrell feels this way look no further than the last line of this memoir- She is, She is, She is.